"God is in the details of our lives."
RBH and I were talking the other night about all of the simple things that happened in our lives that led us to each other. First, let me clarify: we don't believe in soul-mates. As Pres. Spencer W. Kimball said, "they are fiction and an illusion." We get to choose our spouse. I know that RBH chose me and that I chose him back.
As one of my brother's favorite quotes says (also by Thomas S Monson):
Choose your love; love your choice.
Although we know that it was completely our choice to marry each other and to continue to love each other forever, it quickly becomes apparent that God, our loving Heavenly Father, loves us enough to lead us in directions that will give us the most happiness.
RBH and I have both made many decisions that we felt really guided in that resulted in "wow if I hadn't done that, we never would have met/this never would have happened" statements.
I know that God is in the details of my life. I know that He knows my name, my needs, and my deepest desires. He knows my strengths; He knows my weaknesses. He knows just how to specifically tailor certain circumstances in my life to give me the most growth and happiness--as long as I'm willing to take it and not shove off an opportunity. He knows exactly how to elevate my strengths, and He knows how to strengthen my weaknesses too.
This weekend I had this simple truth confirmed to me yet again.
I was waiting to hear on two different pieces of news that were completely out of my control that would determine how the next year of my life will work out.
I heard the first piece of news in the morning.
Totally. not. what. I. wanted.
WHY.
This would've worked perfectly. PERFECTLY. This would give me so much happiness and progress. I KNOW IT. Why didn't this work out??!?
I felt my faith quivering under the weight of my negative thoughts. There is no reason this shouldn't have worked out. Of course now the second thing won't work. I know it won't. UGH. WHY. I've been doing everything I should.
This is all I was feeling. I felt like my entire perspective had swung into a different light. I felt bitter, confused, and I didn't love myself.
But then I chose to remember. I remembered how many times the Lord had taken care of me, how much we had been through together, how many times I could feel that He knew me and my circumstances and that He had everything under control.
So I decided to remember that instead. I chose to have faith. I stood up. I pushed back the lies, and I got down on my knees. I began to pray for news #2. And I did it with a believing heart despite what I wanted to feel.
News #2 came about 15 minutes later.
