Photo by Mark Mabry (http://www.reflectionsofchrist.org/index.php)
Copyright © 2012 Reflections of Christ. All rights reserved.
I remember when my parents
dropped me off at the Naval Academy on July 2, 2008. I was excited, but I was
also nervous, scared, and intimidated. It was hot, humid, stuffy, and I was
surrounded by yelling; thinking back, it still sounds like the cadre were shouting
in a foreign language. They shaved
my head, took away all of my personal belongings, put me in a uniform, taught
me to salute, and told me that I wasn’t special. The next seven weeks were some
of the most difficult of my life. My transition from a seventeen year-old
civilian to an officer candidate in the United States Navy was not an easy one,
and the strain was not just mental and physical. By the end of plebe summer, I
felt spiritually dead. I didn’t have time to read my scriptures, I neglected my
prayers, and I was way too busy trying to not get in trouble to even think
about doing service for others.
Once the academic year
started, things got a little better, but I was still more distant than I had
ever been from my Savior. I tried to keep my relationship with Him, but it was
so difficult to do in that environment. My shipmates were obsessed with
drinking, the stories they told were disgusting, the language they used was
abhorrent, and their sense of morality was nowhere near even a semblance of the
law of chastity. On top of that, I was beginning to believe the concept that
they pounded into me on I-Day: I was not special.
I didn’t feel special.
Not at all. I was just another human trying to make it through the hoops of
life and not trip too often. I felt alone. I felt unneeded. Sometimes when my
friends were all out on liberty, drinking and carrying on, I would stay in the
hall by myself, occupy my mind with some mindless video game or movie, and then
go to bed early, crying myself to sleep. At first I blamed my unhappiness on my
pitiful situation, that it was Academy life that was bringing me down, that the
stress of inspections, professional development, formations, academics,
workouts, etc. were too much. It was life’s fault, not mine.
But, with the help of a
good home teacher, I realized the truth. I felt unhappy because I had distanced
myself from Christ. I felt unneeded because He was not the focus of my life. I
didn’t feel special because I hadn’t spent enough time with Him to realize how
much He loved me. Before then, I knew that the Savior’s Atonement helped us
repent of sins and transgressions because I had experience with repentance. But
at USNA I began to understand how the Atonement covers all pain, such as my
emotional struggles, sadness, and self-doubt. I had been living a pretty clean
life up till that moment, but I still felt out of balance spiritually, and it
was because I had not yet offered my pain to Him. I hadn’t let Him heal me. And
I hadn’t let myself feel of His love because I was prideful and thought I could
handle the difficulties of my situation on my own. Once I realized how silly I
was being, I resolved to let Him help me, and from then on, my life improved.
And I learned one of the
most important truths that any child of God could learn. I was special. He
loved ME. He needed ME. My life was important to Him. He cared enough about me
to be concerned with my emotional struggles and to take them from me once I
gave them to Him. He was there to help. Always. He waited patiently for me to
drop my pride and open my heart to Him. He didn’t punish me and He never
stopped loving me. And eventually, when I realized that the King of Kings was
offering His limitless power to help me, I began to understand the mercy of
Jesus Christ.
I
know that He lives. I know that He loves me. And I know that He loves you. He
cares about YOU. He knows your situation. He knows your emotional, physical,
and mental struggles, and He knows how to fix them. You are special to Him.
Always. His love for you will never cease, never fade, and never disappoint. If
you are feeling unloved, unneeded, not special, alone, or out of balance, go to
Him and ask for His help. He will never turn you away, and He will always help
you make things better. You are
not alone. Pray to the Father and feel the love and Atonement of the Son.
I
love Him. He loves me. I know that both of these things are true, and I declare
them boldly, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
- RBH
Note: The postings from "The 25 Days of Christ" are thoughts shared by guest posters and may not directly reflect the perspective of the blog's main author, Cocoshirley. Any pictures added have been added by Cocoshirley and not by the guest author.
No comments:
Post a Comment