Dr. G isms

Every once in a while you will get a teacher that is the exact flavor of ice cream you've been craving. That is Dr. G for me. She is more than double my age, but I'm pretty sure we could be best friends. Over the semester, I have written various "Dr. G-isms" in the margins of my notes. Enjoy a taste of this woman's goodness...




"Because I am the only one here, I feel like I need to be a really great Southerner"

"Only some kind of sicko would kill something beautiful like a robin"

"if you don't discipline your children, they turn into disgusting little citizens"

"your parents do not understand you, or they wouldn't treat you that way! ..but your grandparents always do"

"there is only one good mouse in the world and he lives in Orlando...well, and maybe Minnie"

"coconut cake and pound cake are at the top of the hierarchy of Southern deserts-if you bring pound cake, you have the power. Kind of like here it would be who makes the best funeral potatoes"

"Okra is one of God's gifts and fried okra is one of God's special gifts. Okra gets 4 stars."

"If you ever go to a bar in the South...not that I would...I do these things for research"

"Let your students highlight things. They love highlighters. We don't know why"

"When you are teaching middle school and high school you better have iron kidneys" (in regards to never having bathroom breaks)

"There's a special room in hell for those who teach without imagination"

"I've taught school since God was a boy"

(in regards to a Kanye West song) "I dont know all the lyrics to that song-it doesn't have like motha ho in it or something, does it?"

(asking a student where a dance troop originated) "are they from the evil place?...(whispers) BYU"

"Of course Nathaniel Hawthorne is one of the hunks of literature. If you dont believe me, look up his pictures and see - that man is a babe"

"Don't give homework the weekend of the prom. What kind of sadist are you?"

"If you make them sit for an hour and a half, they will die of clotted boredom"

"There are two things that you should never have to teach-The Crucible and the 2nd half of Julius Caesar"

"You're not here to show off what you already know-youre here to learn"

"Don't you want to be bad sometimes? Dont you get sick of being sister so and so and brother so and so. You wanna get a little down and dirty, wanna skip some class, go to The Howl..."

"How can it be evening in Logan for a month and a half?!?!"

(after asking a student to shut the door - Dr. G turns to us all serious)
"We must talk about something other professors scorn at...Wikipedia (student enters class) JACOB CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU...ahem...you may use Wikipedia"

"Some people don't number their pages...those people are dead to me"

(after a kid asks if he can have his paper on both the front and back because he's a tree hugger)
"Yes, I also revere our woody friends"

"why would anybody ever say 'in this paper I will show..' why would you do that?!? JUST DO IT!"

"writing doesn't just come out of their armpits and out through their pens"

"yellow jackets are the darth vaders of the bee world"

"if you can tell me what Wordsworth says poetry is then you get to pass Go and collect $200"

"where are my 4350 students?! Are you detained in anxiety because of a certain 20 page paper due in 2 weeks?? And another professor DARED to assign you something too?!"

"Ill take any of the bread crumbs you throw to me in these last 4 classes"

"oh yes all your little cylinders are turning. I love that."

"Whitman made it all happen. Whitman was the man."

(after asking us to get in a circle and seeing our pathetic attempt)
"what part of 'circle' alludes you?"

"ah yes you were going to bless me with a comment"

"There is Utah State...some people even INSIST there is a Boise State...but what is poetry state?"

(dismissing us ten minutes early on the first over 50 degree day)
"okay pathetic ones that only halfway earned your freedom...go away"

my #1 favorite quote from this semester:
"taffeta will make you a cursing person despite your best efforts to keep linguistically pure"


"I'm an English major and so are you. Some people think we should talk a certain way, but if the honeys got 4 doctorate degrees she can choose to say me and you"

"PIRATE"


"Words make us free, and they belong to all of us"

"Be bold. Put it out on the table. Take the reigns. COWGIRL UP"

"Writing is a way of thinking. It is a way of working things out of your mind"

"when you're with your sister you don't worry about how you say things. Its your sister. You don't worry about being grammatically correct. Its your sister. Its your sister"

"Books dont last long enough for me. I grieve when they end"

"You may be thinking to yourself 'I dont want to be gold! let me be iron a little while longer' too bad. You signed up for my class-you're gold"

"Don't be teacher 24/7. Go out and look at things. Make yourself human again"

"I have one thing to say about creative writing - DO IT!"

"A lot of the time learning is caught, not taught"

"He says dream dream dream because of course Dr. King owns that word"

(how she approaches teaching) "My time is over. Now I'm going to send you farther than you think you can go, farther than I went"

"they'll come to you with scars of many years"